Danner is 9 months today! (well he was when I started writing this...)
Seeing as I have not written anything since his birth story, let's play catch up! Here's a little about what life is like being a family of three!!
First 2 Weeks
Favorite Moment: Holding my precious newborn baby. Every mom will tell you there is nothing like a brand new baby. Pure innocence, perfection, and they are completely dependent and looking towards you, their mommy. .... Best thing ever, being a mommy. I thought I knew what being a mom might feel like; how much love I could feel for someone. But nope. I had no idea.Hardest Thing: Not feeling great whilst learning how to be a mom. Don't you wish healing "down there" (as we like to call it) would take 2 seconds and then you could just focus on learning to be a mom? Will it unfortunately takes a lot longer. If any of you soon to be new moms want to chat about postpartum-ness, I am an open book, and would love to tell you things that I didn't know before they happened!
Something unique about Danner: We could tell he was a very happy baby, so very sweet and content. He made the cutest noises after he sneezed, and he LOVEd being burped as shown above (would sometimes fall asleep haha).
Something unique about this time or place: As you can see from some of the pics, it was FREEZING in Vancouver. One of the coldest Vancouver had seen in awhile, and the only way to keep warm was the fireplace! Cohan is the man and acquired a ton of wood for us. And also made money off of buying more for cheap and selling it for more! Which was a huge blessing because at this moment in time we had no job! See, the MAN.
Lesson Learned: Even though I was so tired, and in pain, and taking care of a newborn is hard work, and yeah I got stressed, but I never felt upset towards Danner. None of this was his "fault" and I was amazed how I never felt annoyed at what I had to do. You find the energy to do all you need to do because Danner NEEDS YOU TO. So you do. There never was an if, or should I, you just do.
Weeks 3-4
Favorite Moments:
~ Danner's baby blessing. If you don't know what that is, a baby blessing is a priesthood blessing (a kind of prayer) that Cohan (with uncles and grandpas surrounding) gave Danner, giving him his name and also blessing him with good wishes for his life. Cohan hardly ever cries, and he did as he spoke words to our son, telling him to be a righteous leader to his coming siblings and seek the Heavenly Father's guidance in his life, and that he one day will serve a mission for the Lord and get married in the temple :).~ Getting a Four Generation Picture with Grandpa Fish :)
~ Danner's First Christmas!
Hardest Thing: Trying to keep up with family fun with the demanding schedule of a new baby. All the Fishes were home for Christmas, and Fishes go go go, and we wanted to too, but it was very hard on me, and I know I was hard on myself, trying to make it all work with nursing Danner all the time and not making everyone late and holding everyone up and stopping and stressing, and oh dandy oh. Danner is the first grandbaby on the Fish side, so we were all learning.
Something unique about this time or place: Well as you can see, A TON happened in two weeks haha. We also started cloth diapers sometime around here (let me know if you wanna here about that! still doin um!).
Lesson Learned: New moms: breathe. New Dads: take on some of your wife's burden of worry. Together: do whatever your sweet child needs but you can do other stuff! And try not to stress too much! Because you will stress. But know that if you just try your best, your baby will be ok.
Month 2 (jan)
Favorite Memory: This -->
New discovery about Danner: He was very strong, had really good head control really early.
Danner's Milestones: First Smile (5 Weeks, picture-->), Rolled Over from Tummy to Back (7 Weeks, pictured-->)
Something significant about this time or place: Cohan started a landscape business with his Dad! Shovel & Thumb! check um out! http://www.shovelandthumb.com/. The boys went hunting (not Danner, this time), and we took a trip to the beach house! (in Ocean Park) and went clamming (first for all)!
Lesson Learned: Getting "your body back" takes patience and LOTS of hard work (especially for me when I like to dance for exercise and there was no avenue to dance and so that meant working out like everybody else...boring...but I'm learning to love!)
Month 3 (feb)
Favorite Moment: Sledding with Danner on his first snow encounter. Yes he actually went down with Cohan despite my protests at first. And good thing he went with Cohan and not me, I went all over the place and into a ditch more than once. Danner loved it and on his last run he was asleep by the end of the hill.
Hardest Thing: Money
Something unique about Danner: He was such a good sleeper in the car! We went on the first long road trip to Sun Valley (8 hours), and then Seattle (3 hours) and he pretty much slept the whole time both trips. Also, He doesn't like to be swaddled anymore, or rather he likes his arms to be free when he sleeps.Something significant about this time or place: ~Lots of trips! Sun Valley ~Dad got to ski!, Danner skied with Dad for 2 seconds; Seattle ~Danner met his Great Grandpa Nash. And his Aunt Buddy! ~Oh I got to teach an Indian dance to the young women of our ward, that was a lot of fun :).
Lesson Learned: Faith and trust in the Lord. With starting a business and just having a baby, money was very tight. But you just pay your tithing, and trust that everything is going to be ok. That's when miracles happen! Big or small.
Month 4 (march)
Favorite Memory: Going to Danner's store! No really, his store. That's where his name comes from, Danner boots :).
Hardest Thing: Feelin the "I just stay at home all day" mommy blues. I call our basement the bat cave.
New discovery about Danner: Oh what a smiley boy! He is the cutest ever in the entire world. The end :).
Danner's Milestones: He was really good at tummy time & mini pushups no problem
Something significant about this time or place: Helped Grandpa Nash with yard work, well Cohan used his master skills, I mostly watched Danner.
Lesson Learned: It takes work to be productive when you don't have anything to do. I love being a Mom, that is of course fulfilling, but not being involved in anything else was really tough. No school, no dance. It was hard to motivate myself to try and "do something more". And so I really had to actively motivate myself. This comes easier to others, like my husband, but it is harder for me.
Month 5 (april)
Favorite Memory: ~Danner getting to meet dear friends in Utah for the first time. Caitie & Adam, Hales & Daniel, Cody, Nikki & Joel, Christina. ~This moment. Only time I ever took a nap with Danner. Just on my chest. It was one of the most special sweetest moments ever! -->
Hardest Thing: Danner's growing too fast! Stay little forever!
New discovery about Danner: His favorite toy is Sophie the giraffe (thanks Aunt Nikki), he LOVES people and loves to talk. Now he likes to sleep on his tummy (freaked me out the first few nights)
Danner's Milestones: Rolled from the Back to the Tummy (4 months, pictured below)
Lesson Learned: The Lord is mindful of us. I was asked to choreograph a dance number for our church's Regional Youth Music Festival! It was just what I needed, something for me, well it wasn't for me, it was for the kids, but I love to teach and I love to choreograph, and I just needed something else in my life to work on.
Danner watched his first General Conference! Cohan and I have started a new tradition where we pick out "gems" from conference, or points that made an impression on us. I made a cute word doc and printed them up and taped them to our bathroom mirror so we could remind ourselves of the things we learned and need to be applying. Here's our gems!:
~ Where you put your treasure, there will your heart be also
~ Faith is the cure for fear
~ A load can get us where we need to go
~ Anchor, build your life on the rock of Christ. Become deeply rooted in His gospel.
~ Blame keeps wounds open, forgiveness heals
~ Ask yourself, "Is love at the root of what I am about to say or do?"
~ We are eternal beings, struggles are not endings, but only pauses
~ This life is a four minute performance
(sorry I do not have the references, some are direct quotes some are thoughts of ours from the talks)
Here is a link to the April 2014 General Conference talks: https://www.lds.org/general-conference/sessions/2014/04?lang=eng
Month 6 (may)
Favorite Memory: ~Seeing Cirque de Solei. Human beings can do amazing things. It had been a long time since I had seen such talent, and art, the show was so well done. I would love to create a show like that one day, man....
~Sitting by the poolside with my husband and son looking at a beautiful view of Hawaii.
~AND getting surprised by my Legacy girls (he girls I used to teach in Utah). They made a dance for me, called, Emily's Legacy. I cried. hard.Hardest Thing: Some plane rides were a doozy. Traveling by myself was hard-oso!
New discovery about Danner: He is super aware of everything and just loves to go to new places
Danner's Milestones: Rolls Around the Room to get places (5 months 2 weeks), Got into Crawl Position on his own (5 months 4 weeks)
Something significant about this time or place: Went to Kona Hawaii! Wow what a blast. First
vacation with a baby. Danner did great, it of course took some stretching on our part, but we had a lot of fun. Turtles! And Cohan got to scuba dive he LOVES it, and it was just perfect weather. ~I traveled by myself to Utah to see my old dance studio's recital, and also got to visit my dear friends. ~Kelsey got to meet Danner for the first time. ~Oh I turned 24! And had my first Mother's Day!~Great Grandpa Fish passed away May 28, 2014. He passed so suddenly, it was so sad. It happened while I was away. He had a heart attack and then declined very quickly, over the course of a few days. Cohan's Mom and Dad were able to drive down to them and say bye to their beloved Father.
Lesson Learned: Heavenly Father loves me. I have a wonderful family. What more could I ask for? Also, after seeing my old dance studio, and seeing my girls again, and then leaving again, I just was even more grateful than I have ever been for my time with Legacy Dance Studio. I feel so blessed to have had that experience. I am so grateful Heavenly Father let me be apart of those girls' lives. Love you long time. (something we all say to each other)
Month 7 (june)
Favorite Memory: These two moments
Hardest Thing: Danner started to get super fussy whenever he nursed. And I love nursing but then all of a sudden nursing grew frustrating because Danner would get so upset. Danner went for his 6 month check up (but it was when he was almost 7 months) and the doc said she was worried about his weight because he had dropped percentiles. She didn't explain very much and just said i needed to supplement. BOOM. It felt like, "you are a horrible mother," to me. So then I proceeded to stress over trying to feed him enough, and the rest comes next month.New discovery about Danner: He actually loves going shopping. He smiles and talks (loudly) to everyone who walks by. And they always LOVE him. I love going shopping because he just makes everyone's day! He loves animals. The Fishes have dogs and a cat, and he FREAKS out everytime he sees them. (When Danner freaks out, its a good thing. He is very loud when he is happy)
Danner's Milestones: First Solids (6 months 1 week), First time really playing with toys (6 months, 2 weeks), Scoots to get what he wants (6 months 2 weeks), First crawl step! (6 months 3 weeks)
Something significant about this time or place: ~Grandpa Fish's funeral was June 13, 2013. The funeral was lovely, especially the things that Dad Fish said. It was also a Catholic mass, which was my first. I didn't know Grandpa Fish for too long, but I'm sure glad I did know him. He raised an amazing man who then raised another amazing man, who became my husband. And now we have Danner. Living on the Fish family name! I only hope we can raise Danner to be as good as the legacy of Fish boys. Thanks for setting an example for me Grandpa Fish!
~My mom also came to visit us in Vancouver which was very kind. We love visitors! ~We saw Bailey's first dance recital! She is the best dancin bunny! ~And The Youth Regional Music Festival happened! Oh it was just a beautiful performance. The spirit was so strong as hundreds of youth sang together. My dancers did just wonderful. It was a pleasure to work with them. I'm sad it's over.
~We also began looking for houses to buy! It's about time! We were interested in getting a duplex, to rent out half, like we did in provo. We found one we liked! And made an offer, they countered, and we went under contract! ~Oh and Cohan had his first Father's Day!
Lesson Learned: As babies grow, they change. They go through different stages. I obviously knew this before, I mean this seems obvious right?, but I just got so comfortable with the way things were that when things got difficult with nursing, I stressed out. Just know that they are constantly changing and so patience and flexibility and a sense of humor are invaluable to get through unexpected and unanticipated things. Oh and of course, sticking close to the spirit. We just try our best and lean on Heavenly Father and He will show us what we need to do. After all, HE is the ONLY perfect parent.
Month 8 (july)
Favorite Memory: ~Danner getting to meet Aunt Kaitlyn! Meeting Danner's cousin Jett for the first time and reconnecting and playing with his other cousins! ~Goin to the Rodeo on 4th of July!
Hardest Thing: ~The Duplex. So through a long process of waiting for the duplex remodel to be completed and getting the inspection, and there being lots of problems, and then they opted to fix some things we asked, and them doing a horrible and I mean horrible job, we decided to pull out. This was very difficult for me because I was SOOO ready to move. I of course had been planning on how I would decorate and organize and use the space, and we were just so ready to have our own place again. The decision was also made while I was at my Nash Family Reunion and Cohan was still in Vancouver. Just difficult.
~Being a "single mom" at the Nash Reunion when Cohan was not present. I've done it several times when I have visited Seattle on my own, and going to Utah. But this one was a doozy. Trying to feed him enough was a huge part. As I said before, I was supposed to be supplementing as well as nursing, and I tried to pump before we left for all the reunions but I really wasn't able to do it enough, it just took SO MUCH TIME (the pump I had wasn't that great and at the time it took me 30 min), and I would have had to do NOTHING else in order to have enough for all day, because I would nurse him, bottle feed and feed him solids, and then pumping on top of that, and then we were out of town, so pumping kinda went out the window, and of course I was feeling bad for using formula because of course breast is best and formula costs money, but the pumping was just too much for me to handle.
New discovery about Danner: Loves to make sounds, always has with his voice but now will make noise with cups and blocks. LOVES animals. Loves the dogs and Rubber (the Mom and Dad Fishes' cat).
Danner's Milestones: Pulling himself up on furniture (7 months 1 week), Easily transitioning from crawling to sitting (7 months 3 weeks), First time crawling up a step! (Almost 8 months)
Something significant about this time or place: ~Cohan's birthday! 29! yikes! ;)
~Heppler Family Reunion! Danner's first, and also first time camping! Danner was the only great-grandchild! Totally different for me! But we had tons of fun and ate lots of yummy food.~I got a perm! Fulfilled my curly hair dream.
~Nash Family Reunion! Out family has grown HUGE. TONS of great-grandchildren runnin around :)
Lesson Learned: Oh it was a work in progress. Let's just say I just decided NOT to think about not having a house and just indulged in spending time with family. The lesson I was learning and needed to learn will be discussed next month...
Danner being "low percentile" and having to supplement was really hard on me and really stressed me out as you can see from above. It took me awhile to realize that I needed to stop stressing and just get a routine down and do the best I could. I also learned to trust myself, that "mommy sense" thing is real. I am his mommy and of course I need guidance from docs and such but I really know best. I know my child. Please if you ever experience this with your child, please come talk to me and we can have a chat. Numbers are useful but they're not everything. Husbands, be very understanding to your wife is she has struggles with breastfeeding, supply or caring for her baby in general. We feel this need to care and nourish our baby very deeply. Kinda like how deeply you feel the role to provide and protect your family. It something Cohan and I are constantly learning, to take the time to understand how the other spouse is feeling, to see it from inside their heart or mind. Something that's no big deal to you could be a big deal to them. Always take a moment before you speak to respond with love.
Favorite Memory: Being with my family, all of us together. Playing, competing in Olympics, enjoying a home surround sound theatre, and makin the first cousin movie, and family music video! (We had our first Alan and Julie Dance Family Reunion!)
Hardest Thing: ~Not moving.
~We had a very scary accident happen at our Dance Family Reunion. Our sweet Bailey fell out of a tall 2 story window. It was a very traumatic experience. But was also a very faith promoting and miraculous experience. Bailey really should not have survived or should have been severely injured. But she came away with only a broken foot, badly bruised and scrapped face, and a broken cheek bone I think it was. It was truly a modern day miracle. This is not the place to share all my feelings at details about the event, but I do want to say that miracles still happen! Real miracles. The Lord is in our lives, he is watchful. He sent angels to catch our Bailey :).
New discovery about Danner: ~Loves his cousins. Special love for his girly cousins. ~Waves hi to everyone, bye and goodnight!
Danner's Milestones: Climbed a set of stairs (8 months 2 weeks) Claps now! And gives hi-fives! (perfected both sometime during the month)
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Something significant about this time or place: ~Finished the Nash reunion, Cohan got there half way through yay! ~First Alan & Julie Dance Family Reunion in Leavenworth ~Gillihan Family Reunion (Grandma Fish's side) ~I sought out a dance studio here in Vancouver, called Dayley Dance Academy, interviewed and auditioned, and got the job! I'm gonna teach again!!!!
~Kels got married! ~Cohan's cousin, Adrienne got married! ~Went to my cousins Jake & Maria's Reception in Seattle. ~We started house hunting again! This time single family homes.
Lesson Learned: ~Be happy now, not happy "when... " This is that work in progress I was talking about. Because I was so set on moving, and made so many plans in advance, I was constantly thinking, "oh this will be so much better when we have our own place", "oh I can't wait till we have our own place". It's ok to look forward to something but it should not consume our here and now. Because once that something comes, there will always be more trials! So then what? We are just never happy? President Dieter F. Uchtdorf gave an amazing talk on what I have been trying to learn and instill in myself. It is not easy. The talk is entitled, "Grateful in Any Circumstances". I highly recommend you read/re-read this talk. Here is the link Amazing talk on gratitude, it will change your life.
~Through Bailey's accident and the aftermath, the priorities in my life came better into view. Isn't it amazing that even though something so horrible happened, good can come from it. This is the Lord's way. I saw my family come together in a way I never have. When something like this happens it reminds us of what is important. It pushes away all those seemingly huge stresses in our lives and we are left with the greatest gifts God has given us. Family. Family and our loved ones are really all that matters. They are the reason we are here! Nothing is more important than cultivating our relationships and serving others.
And so on to Month 10! (sept...)
Favorite moments so far... petting a DEER! I love deer and think they are majestic creatures of grace and beauty and I GOT TO PET ONE!!!!
We put another offer in on a house! This time its a single family home. It is amazing. It is an older home remodeled, so its new but has that old wonderful charm. 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms (master bath! ekkk!), .25 acres, and it is just so... us. We are very close to closing. I have been learning patience as there have been so many bumps we have encountered on this whole journey to have our own place again, and the light is getting brighter at the end of the tunnel, but with homes and loans, it is not done till it's done. Our close date has changed... 6 times?... And so I am trying to live with gratitude. Because really, I am in want of nothing. I have everything. I have a hard working dedicated husband, an amazing beautiful son, and we have family around us who love us and support us. And I got to pet a deer, and we live in such a beautiful state where the weather has just been so perfect this summer! Man isn't my life great? Yes it is :)
Here is a blurb from President Uchtdorf's talk because I just can't say it any better:
When we are grateful to God in our circumstances, we can experience gentle peace in the midst of tribulation. In grief, we can still lift up our hearts in praise. In pain, we can glory in Christ’s Atonement. In the cold of bitter sorrow, we can experience the closeness and warmth of heaven’s embrace.
We sometimes think that being grateful is what we do after our problems are solved, but how terribly shortsighted that is. How much of life do we miss by waiting to see the rainbow before thanking God that there is rain?
Being grateful in times of distress does not mean that we are pleased with our circumstances. It does mean that through the eyes of faith we look beyond our present-day challenges.
This is not a gratitude of the lips but of the soul. It is a gratitude that heals the heart and expands the mind.
Being grateful in our circumstances is an act of faith in God. It requires that we trust God and hope for things we may not see but which are true.8By being grateful, we follow the example of our beloved Savior, who said, “Not my will, but thine, be done.”9
True gratitude is an expression of hope and testimony. It comes from acknowledging that we do not always understand the trials of life but trusting that one day we will.
In any circumstance, our sense of gratitude is nourished by the many and sacred truths we do know: that our Father has given His children the great plan of happiness; that through the Atonement of His Son, Jesus Christ, we can live forever with our loved ones; that in the end, we will have glorious, perfect, and immortal bodies, unburdened by sickness or disability; and that our tears of sadness and loss will be replaced with an abundance of happiness and joy, “good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over.”
